Friday, April 15, 2005

I'm gonna knock you out. My momma said knock you out. I am in the worst/weirdest mood. I'm very emotional/angry right now. And I'm never not hungry. (Right now, I'm hungry. And now. Still am. ) Yesterday I cried on Maury...twice. And I cry on Unsolved Mysteries at least every few episodes. Now before you jump to conclusions, I'll answer your question. No, I am NOT riding the cotton pony. So suck on that bitches, I'm just crazy.
I think I should be an infant or a cat or something. It only makes sense. The only activities I enjoy in life are sleeping, eating, crying, and inconveniencing/hurting others. It's perfect.
I'm definitely ready for this semester to end. I'm sick of classes, and although I'm enjoying the show right now (Vanities), I'm really exhausted and want my nights back. I've had rehearsal basically every night since the beginning of the semester and I'm very tired. But this show is super fun. I play a sarcastic slut (I do what I know...insert creepy laugh.) I think it will be hilarious and you faithful readers in the Indianapolis area should definitely come if you can. The dates are April 20-23. There's a surprise at the end, and I wont tell you what it is. But I will tell you it involves me twirking it nasty. If thats not reason enough to come, then I don't know what else you need. Well, I'm bored and not so sure anyone actually reads this anymore, so it doesnt matter. Until next time...
posted by Ryan on 1:21 PM

Monday, April 04, 2005

I'll get you pussyface!!!!
posted by Ryan on 9:39 PM

Monday, March 07, 2005

Ok..Update time. I'm pretty sure everybody already knows this, but I have officially moved out of my dorm. Bye Bye Soviet Dyke aka big-haired OCD Croatian. Thanks Joanna and sara for letting me move in. I'm much happier now and I can actually sleep.
Enough of that, Black Comedy is over and I'm also in the next show--Vanities. I'm very excited, but none of you E-ville folks need feel obligated to come since you guys were just here.
I'm addicted to Facebook. WE just got it started at U of I and I can't stop playing with it. Parker, did you know there's a group called The Pogues--a British punk rock band? Now you can drink the whiskey while listening to the music. I know sometimes I get drunk and watch Little Giants while referring to myself as Icebox O'Shea. Believe you me, you'll get some looks--you just can't be proud of your family name.
I had a dream that I went on a date with Zach Braff and he didn't like me--I woke up incredibly depressed. He was staying in a hotel room with Taylor Mattingly (what the fuck-I don't even know/like that guy) and I met him and asked him out. He said yes and we went to Evansville. I rode with my family or friends--I don't really remember, and melissa (you dyke) rode with Zach. You shitty unsupportive friends decided it would be cool to have our date at the Great American Bagel and we were there for literally five minutes. Then he left because I wasn't able to charm him with my witty banter. I then awoke to find myself cold and alone in the bunkbed of a campus apartment. It was sad to not be able to crawl into bed with my boo, that crazy Croatian, Natasa.
I think I am literally in love with Conan O'Brien. It's very sad for me. I know I'll never meet him, let alone charm him. Plus, I'm no homewrecker. Any man that can make ME giggle (Uh--I don't giggle) has got to be my destiny. I have dreams of that raspberry wave and feel supreme fulfillment. It's very disheartening to wake up and find it's all a distant dream.
On that note, I'm gonna go chase that dream now...I'm out like a light.
posted by Ryan on 9:40 PM

Monday, February 14, 2005

Come see it bitches: I'm the fiancee described below...

The events in /Black Comedy/ happen on a Sunday evening during the mid> sixties in Brindsley Miller's apartment in South Kensington, London.> Mischief and hilarity ensue as a blackout overtakes Brindsley's> apartment on a very important evening. The young, struggling artist> plans to impress his fiancee's father and encourage a wealthy collector> to purchase some of his works. The power outage and a surprise visit> from his cunning ex-lover present hysterical complications.>>>
/Black Comedy/ performances are in the Schwitzer Student Center Dining> Hall on February 25-27 and March 4-5, with a free preview February 24> (there will be no dinner served this night). The dinner portion of the> evening begins at 6:45 and the show follows at 8:00. Ticket prices are> as follows:
> · $18 general admission
> · $16 non-U of I students, seniors, and groups
> · $10 U of I faculty, staff, and students not on meal plan
> · $6 U of I students on meal plan>
> VISA, MasterCard, Discover or personal checks are accepted. The Box> Office is open Monday-Friday, 1-5 p.m., and you can reserve your tickets> by calling 317-788-3251.
posted by Ryan on 10:33 PM

Monday, February 07, 2005

It's been ages since I updated and I'm almost positive that no one will actually read this. But I'm gonna write it in it anyway so suck on that.
I think I'm going to drop my guitar class, not because I don't enjoy playing but because the class itself is a pain in my ass. I already have the books and know how to read the music so I can teach myself. It's final, then. I quit.
I got a Valentine's Day present--a full week early no less. Who is it from you may ask. It's from my friend's boyfriend. (Thanks, Jon.) That was very thoughtful and truly made my day. Of course it's now 1:30 a.m. and my day is ending, but it was beautiful while it lasted.
Welp I had a nice little time this past weekend with some of my dearest friends in the world--those E-ville bitches I know and love so well. Seth and I went and ate at a tasty Cajun restaurant in Broadripple called Yats--delightful and cheap. Then we went and saw an all female production of Othello starring a one miss Robin Darling and her lesbian castmates of the Butler theatre department. Then I got stared down by them all at their cast-party afterwards. (P.S. Robin and Brandon, I have a party Saturday night here at school if you'd like to come hang out with some inviting theatre majors you're more than welcome. Believe me, I already asked.)Melissa dyed her hair and is now a tall redhead. There's no room for you here. Only me. At least you're thin and have bangs--it's not like you're completely trying to be me.
Parker, I have the framed drawing you made of me sitting on my desk by my computer. I feel kinda conceited with it sitting there because it makes it look like I commissioned a work of myself for my...self. But thanks, my mom was very impressed. I think I might stick on my roommate's desk. We don't like each other so it'd be funny.
Funny story...that happened 3 weeks ago. Miss Natasa didn't show up for school a full two days late and I thought she got pregnant and wasn't returning. Then, on a very dreary Tuesday night she calls and asks me to pick her up from the airport. I'm sorry, what?! I said no because I had an "audition." Who the fuck does she think she is? Not my friend. Guess who else isn't my friend? Seth.
You fucker. Don't listen to Romanian techno and defend crazy Croatians. You're not European, asshole. I do not want to put a boot in any other countries' asses, but any culture that requires granny panties and See and Say techno is NOT okay with me. Ever.
She's obsessive compulsive, also. Everynight at 2:00 she wakes up and walks outside of the door in just her underwear and bra/tanktop/undershirt/pajama top (it apparently is all of the above), then she turns around and puts on her shorts. It's this exact same routine every night. Defend that, Seth.
I think I may have a ghost in my room, too. Sometimes the TV randomly comes on at about 2 in the morning, the same time our mysterious European friend is frequenting the restroom in her skivvies. I thought the alarm was set, but indeed it is not. It comes on by itself. If I do have a ghost, I wish I would just see it and it would talk to me. I'd like to meet. We obviously have a common interest in TV. Come on, buddy. Wake me up tonight. (I'll keep you, my loyal readers, posted.)
Speaking of loyal readers, I may also be starting a livejournal because that is the journal f choice here at U of I. I don't really know why considering I never update my blog, either. But nevertheless its an option I'm pursuing.
Welp, I'm done. I don't really have any funny stories or info to toss around, but I just felt the urge to write or something because I decided to drop guitar class. I'll try to update again by Easter or something. Until then, I'm out like a light.

posted by Ryan on 10:29 PM

Wednesday, December 15, 2004

It has recently occurred to me that none of you bitches truly know me. This is based on the quiz that almost all of you failed. (Including Robin whose score didn't show up the first time and retook it knowing all the correct answers. Cheating Dyke.) So this entry will be about getting to know your loveable author, that ravishing redhead: me. So here goes.
Things I Love: the 80s--most of the pop culture from the 80s. My favorite movie of allllll time (Say Anything) is a 1989 classic. My favorite 80s lovesong (In your Eyes) is from that movie, but my alltime favorite 80s song is Come On Eileen. And I do love John Cusack--DEARLY. And I used to be obsessed with Mr. Mayer--and I still love him. But these days my heart is taken by a tall, pale, gangly, obnoxious, redheaded talk show host who makes me giggle with his ridiculous humor: Conan O'Brien. After all, if we got married my name would be Ryan O'Brien--its disgustingly cute.
Although I always had aspirations of meeting John Mayer, the plan would be to meet him after I turned 18 so that we could legally be together. Meeting a ghost was my ultimate turning 18 goal.
I've had many embarrassing moments in my life, but some I've become so used to doing that it doesn't bother me anymore---falling, splitting my pants, which I did again last week while dancing to BOOTYLICIOUS (we'll get there). Although acting like an ass w/Jason Mraz was embarrassing, I didn't realize how ridiculous until hours after I had made an ass of myself. The most embarrassed I have ever been is when my mom humiliated me in front of a cast member of Rent. She tried to be cute and funny but just made an ass of herself, and of me. Ironically enough we're both ridiculous fools with celebrities. (My roommate just farted. Dear God thats hilarious!!!! That has nothing to do with me, but its fucking funny!) Regardless I learned my lesson and when I met Clay Aiken just months later, I was completely calm. (He doesn't count, now does he?)
As far as my favorite pop diva goes, I think Christina has the best vocal chops, and Jessica is good just because uh...she has big boobs. I have recently developed a respect for Britney that I've never had before, and I really like her. BUt no matter what----I lurve Beyonce. Why else would I spend months perfecting her dance? And we have kinda the same body shape, so I respect her most of all (and now I have Crazy In Love in my head.)
As far as my second choice of profession goes, I guess that was somewhat of a trick question. I should have phrased the question as the other major I seriously considered besides theatre. I never really wanted to be a music major because I don't want to sing classical music for the rest of my life. Never in any time in my life did I ever think about becoming a teacher--I respect them but in no way could I be one. As angry as I get? Please. The only person who guessed that answer is Nikki--you obviously don't know me at all, you fool. I kinda considered radio for a while, but a very short while. Law school has always been in the back of my mind. My entire junior year, I thought I would major in pre-law (poli sci) and then go to law school. I even thought of double majoring in it this year. Lawyer is the correct answer.
Childhood book: this one is tough. I love all of these books dearly. Madeline was a character I often slept with and read all the books in the series. I still have Madeline dolls at home. Pippy Longstocking I remember reading long ago, and I actually found my copy when I was packing for school. I honestly don't remember much of the story, though. Probably because I'm lazy and this was an actual book. Junie B. Jones...Bus was one of my other favorite stories as a child. I actually wnet as Junie for Halloween in second grade. Though all of these stories hold a fond place in my heart, there is one that surpasses all: Good Families Don't. MOst of you are probably not familiar with this title, but once I explain the concept behind this lovely children's tale you'll understand and the answer will be clear. The story is about a Canadian family whose home is invaded by a huge fart. NOt the smell, my friends, oh no. A living creature--monster if you will. The story is about a fart in living form. It is called Good Families Don't because the main protagonist in the story, a young girl, sees a fart in her room, but nobody believes her because according to them good families don't have farts. I think that pretty much clears that up.
There was another question I had the first time I made my quiz. (Yes my shitty computer deleted my quiz twice before I finally finished it.) It was what movie made me cry harder than I have ever cried in my life. The answer to that question is In America. I know there are quite a few of you who would have definitely got that one right. If you are just add a point to your score.
I can't remember if there are any other questions I forgot. If there are leave a comment and I'll explain. Thanks guys. You're the best friends ever...dicks.

posted by Ryan on 3:49 PM

Monday, December 13, 2004

See how well you know me...Take my quiz!!!

http://www03.quizyourfriends.com/yourquiz_IM.php?quizname=041214013335-516496&email=&c=0&a=01

posted by Ryan on 10:36 PM